


Expectations vs. Reality

by LordessMeep



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Godzilla - Freeform, I REGRET NOTHING, Iwaizumi Hajime Is So Done, M/M, Roommates, The T-Shirt, University, Unofficial Sequel, What The Fuck Oikawa, it's important, no seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9130564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordessMeep/pseuds/LordessMeep
Summary: “I’ll date you. But only when you’re dressed like Godzilla, okay?” Oikawa beams at him and nods eagerly. Iwaizumi grins. “Cool! But...what does dating mean?”-	Oh No, There Goes Tokyo, Souliebird---Hajime walks into their shared apartment and Oikawa is sitting on their couch... in a Godzilla bodysuit.And thus begins the weirdest month of Iwaizumi Hajime's young life.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Oh No, There Goes Tokyo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8417896) by [Souliebird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souliebird/pseuds/Souliebird). 



> Unofficial sequel to [Souliebird's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souliebird/pseuds/Souliebird) super cute ["Oh No, There Goes Tokyo"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8417896). 
> 
> It had to be done, and I, very firmly, REGRET NOTHING.

*

 

_“I’ll date you. But only when you’re dressed like Godzilla, okay?” Oikawa beams at him and nods eagerly. Iwaizumi grins. “Cool! But...what does dating mean?”_

"Oh No, There Goes Tokyo" - Souliebird

*

Here’s the thing – Oikawa spews so much stupid crap in the period of a day, Hajime has had to develop a special filter in his brain just to retain the more important information. It helps when Hajime is trying to do school work and Oikawa is lounging around on his bed, being loud and noisy and asking things like _do you think that fishes dream, Iwa-chan?_

So when Hajime returns to their shared apartment after a long and grueling session with his study group at university, he doesn’t really think much about Oikawa’s _“Hey, hey, remember when we were six and you wanted to date Godzilla and you said that you’d only do it when wearing the costume? Huh, Iwa-chan, huh??”_

Ignoring the fact that half of it doesn’t even make sense, Hajime rolls his eyes and collapses into his futon with a very empathetic, “What the fuck, Oikawa.”

*

“What the fuck, Oikawa.”

Hajime _should_ be less surprised because; truth is, despite his hordes of fangirls, his athletic prowess and even his cunning personality, at the very core of it, Oikawa is weird as hell.

“Just,” Hajime tries but he really can’t come up with anything else, so, “What the fuck.”

Oikawa blinks innocently, like he isn’t lounging on their couch in a fucking _bodysuit_ with reptilian markings – complete with appendages that end in claws and an honest to goodness spiky tail – and to top it all off, he has a mask in his lap. Upon closer inspection, the mask appears to resemble Godzilla an awful lot and, combined with the rest of the costume; it just serves to make Hajime more confused.

“Oikawa,” Hajime says patiently but, like always, it ends up sounding long suffering, “Why are you cosplaying as Godzilla?”

Instead of an explanation, complete with the shining eyes that’d probably drag Hajime into doing to something spectacularly stupid – as always, he should add – Oikawa just looks outraged.

“You- You-” he stutters to the point that he isn’t even making new words anymore, “ _You_ -”

With that, Oikawa gets to his feet and stomps into their shared bedroom, his tail flopping with every step he takes, and slams the door shut behind him. Hajime just stares at the door, utterly bewildered, and he has no idea what just happened.

“What the fuck, Oikawa,” Hajime tells the door because, apparently he can’t make any new words either.

*

Hajime sleeps on the couch that night, feeling very distinctly like a philandering husband.

*

He bears with two days of passive aggressive remarks – because, despite two whole _decades_ of knowing one another, Oikawa Tooru does not believe in healthy communication with his one and only best friend – and then buys Oikawa that ridiculously expensive milk bread from that stupid French bakery that he loves so much, because there’s only so much Hajime can take; he’s only human.

The problem is, Oikawa refuses to tell Hajime what he did wrong to warrant such a treatment. He keeps distracting Hajime by giving him that kicked puppy face with a small _I think my knee is hurting_ – something that he _knows_ sends Hajime into what Matsukawa likes to call his ‘Aggressive Mothering Mode’ – and so Hajime _has_ to drop the topic.

Then, the _t-shirt_ happens.

*

They’re getting curry when Hajime notices it.

(Which, in hindsight, should be a sign, considering that Hanamaki has famously noted that Hajime’s observational skills – when not centered on Oikawa’s volleyball anxieties – rival that of a brick’s and, really, even Hajime is self-aware enough that he can’t actually counter that claim, given that he’d once mistaken a letter of confession for a letter of challenge and ended up scaring the girl away with the force of his scowl.)

(Back to the point – the _t-shirt_. Or, more specifically, The T-Shirt.)

“Please tell me it’s been through laundry,” is what Hajime ends up saying.

Oikawa looks up from where he has been staring at his plate, looking spectacularly stupid with a grain of rice stuck at the corner of his mouth. For some ungodly reason, he is also looking legitimately excited.

Hajime, for what seems like the nth time, puts it down as one of Oikawa Tooru’s innumerable idiosyncrasies.

“It has,” is what Oikawa ends up replying with and then gives Hajime that wide-eyed look that begs him to _please inquire further into this inane topic of mine, Iwa-chan_.

Because Hajime is a good friend, he spoons some more curry and shoves it into his mouth, chewing and staring at Oikawa pointedly.

Oikawa ends up scowling at his plate of curry, completely uncaring of the wrinkles marring his brow.

*

“What?! Why the fuck would you need to sleep on _two_ futons?! What do you mean you’re a ‘growing boy who needs his space’?! Oikawa, I’m going to- Wh- What the- DID YOU JUST LOCK THE DOOR?? I don’t care about the pillows in the hallway cl- LET ME INTO THE ROOM, YOU COMPLETE PIECE OF TRASH!”

And that’s how Hajime ends up sleeping on the couch a second time in two weeks.

*

Turns out, Oikawa has _multiples_ of The T-Shirt. You know how an anime character would open their closet and it would be full with copies of their usual outfit? Yeah, like that, but with The T-Shirt, except the T-Shirt at least comes in different colors.

Hajime is a little afraid to ask, so he doesn’t. Instead, he bears with staring down The T-shirt every time he and Oikawa go to the movies or go to a restaurant or even go grocery shopping. He watches Oikawa change into it after practice matches between his and Hajime’s universities, he watches Oikawa wear it and lounge around in their apartment and, once, he even watches Oikawa wear to an _actual party_.

Correction – Hajime is really, _really_ afraid to ask.

Then, Hajime returns home after a particularly grueling exam, fully prepared to collapse on his futon and pass out till further notice, and Oikawa is sitting on their couch, watching a subtitled episode of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos and wearing that _same fucking Godzilla bodysuit_.

Hajime values his sanity, so he doesn’t say a single word – he just calmly walks into their shared bedroom and locks the door shut.

*

Oikawa sleeps on the couch that night and Hajime refuses to feel guilty for it.

*

Of course, nothing deters Oikawa when he gets his one-track mind stuck on something, so he _still_ wears The T-Shirt around everywhere with the smallest exception – he doesn’t wear it when hanging around their apartment.

No, he defers that fashion choice in favor of the _Godzilla bodysuit_.

Hajime is equally stubborn, so he refuses to take bait and demand what the hell is going on and instead pretends that it is perfectly normal to dine on takeout ramen, whilst sitting opposite a twenty year old man in full Godzilla cosplay, sans the mask and the clawed hands.

“Thanks for the meal.” Hajime glares at his bowl of shouyu as if _it_ is the cause for all his recent sufferings and he slurps his noodles furiously, contemplating his life choices that led him to this moment.

*

Hajime is the first to break. Of course he is.

*

He slams his hands on his open textbook and turns to where Oikawa is casually sitting against a wall – reading some trashy alien novel and absently playing with that spiky tail of that _stupid infuriating_ _bodysuit_ – then takes deep breaths to compose himself and calm that urge to pelt volleyballs at Oikawa’s stupid head.

“ _Fine_. I’ll bite,” Hajime tells him through gritted teeth, feeling very much like a pressure cooker about to blow, “What the fuck, Oikawa?”

Oikawa calmly lifts an index finger and uses the claw at the end of it to turn the page.

“I’m just sitting here, Iwa-chan,” he replies, perfectly reasonable.

“ _No_ , just, you fuc-” Hajime takes another breath then counts backwards from ten and exhales, before continuing in a sickeningly normal voice, “Why are you doing that?”

“That?” Oikawa echoes, still utterly nonchalant.

“ _That_ ,” Hajime expressively gestures in Oikawa’s direction, “Why are you _wearing_ that?”

Oikawa turns up his nose, looking miffed. “I can wear whatever I want.”

“Yes, but wearing a _Godzilla_ _bodysuit_ within the confines of our apartment _continuously_ for the last _ten days_ AND wearing that _stupid_ t-shirt every _fucking_ where-”

“It’s not stupid,” Oikawa interrupts, glowering at Hajime.

“It literally says ‘I AM GODZILLA’ on the front.” Hajime informs him, not adding the tiny little – admittedly cute – sketch of the roaring reptile that was also there, “You don’t even _like_ Godzilla."

Oikawa drops the book when he tries to fold his arms in a show of annoyance, struggling with tucking one clawed hand under his arm. It would be hilarious were Hajime not ten inches from exploding, so he instead continues, “You know what else is stupid? You have _copies_ of that t-shirt. Clearly, you’re trying to make a point and because I am not a passive-aggressive moron like you, I’ll ask you directly – what the fuck are you trying to say?”

Oikawa’s face runs through a variety of emotions before settling firmly onto petulance.

“You really forgot about it then.”

That’s all it takes for Hajime’s irritation to morph to utter confusion, laced with trace amounts of guilt.

“What?”

Oikawa droops, his frown deepening further.

“I’ll go and change then.”

Hajime gets the sense that something really, really terrible will happen if he lets Oikawa – and he can’t believe he’s even considering stopping this – _change_ out of that infernal bodysuit, so he literally rushes to grab onto Oikawa’s forearm.

“No,” Hajime tells him, firmly, “First you tell me what this is about.”

Oikawa struggles a little and Hajime just gives him his best glare, which immediately puts a stop to that.

“Ugh,” he huffs, “You’re really going to make me say it, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime keeps himself from rolling his eyes. “Obviously.”

“Fine.” Oikawa wrinkles his nose and fixes a deeply reluctant expression on his face, “Do you remember when we were six and you said that you wanted to be Godzilla’s boyfriend?”

Hajime blinks. Well, it’s not like he remembers but that _does_ sound like something he would say, because, according to his mother, his obsession with Godzilla was worse than the plague – whatever that meant – and what does _that_ have to do with-

Oikawa looks like he is silently praying for a hole to open up and swallow him whole.

“And,” he continues, not meeting Hajime’s eyes, “Do you remember when we had a sleepover that Halloween? Your mom made you that outfit of Red, from the Pokemon games, and I was-”

“Godzilla,” Hajime supplies because he remembers that outfit, and it was really fucking awesome.

“Yes,” Oikawa nods, still not looking at Hajime, “And then you asked me why I was wearing it and I said- you know, that’s not important,”

“Which automatically means it _is_ important-”

“ _No_ , what is important is what _you_ said,” And Oikawa finally looks at him, pointing at Hajime with one clawed hand, “You said you would date me but only when I was dressed as Godzilla!”

And that’s when Hajime vaguely recalls it and he first wants to wipe the _take that_ expression Oikawa is wearing. Then, he pieces together the last confusing month of his life and it starts making sense exactly _why_ Oikawa had turned down that ridiculously hot blonde who’d hit on him at the movies – and Hajime had choked on his laughter when she’d shamelessly batted her eyes and said _let’s do to our bodies what Godzilla does to Tokyo_ – and- and-

“What the fuck, Oikawa,” Hajime emotes and then massages his temple to stave off the oncoming migraine.

He can’t believe this is happening and that he is actually thinking about agreeing to this. And it’s not like he has many arguments against it because, hell, they have the domestic part down, they’re already friends and Hajime is not embarrassed of him _too_ much, so all that is really left is the R-rated stuff right? Oikawa _is_ objectively attractive, even with whatever stupid shit he gets up to… Hajime could be into that.

“So if I say yes to… whatever this is-”

“Being in a relationship,” Oikawa helpfully supplies, “As _boyfriends_.”

“As boyfriends,” Hajime amends, sighing heavily, “If I say yes, will you _please_ wear normal clothes again?”

Oikawa nods furiously at that, his eyes shining wildly, and Hajime lets go of him to sit back and regard the way he is actually _radiating_ hope.

“What is _wrong_ with you,” Hajime asks, “Why can’t you ask me out like a normal person?”

“I am not normal, Iwa-chan,” he replies, oddly proud of the fact and Hajime can’t actually dispute what he just said.

He sighs again, this time in utter defeat.

“Ugh, fine, _yes_.” He says and Oikawa squeals happily, throwing himself at Hajime, suit and all.

*

That evening, the Godzilla suit and The T-Shirts – all of them save one – sit on the couch, ready to be thrown in the incinerator come morning.

*  

**Author's Note:**

> So... that happened. Hm.
> 
> In other news, Happy New Year to y'all! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧.


End file.
